It’s the over-ambitious marine, Corporal Adrian Shephard!  Key protagonist of the second chapter in the first Half-Life game, Corporal Shepherd proved that bullets speak louder than words.

To ruin the plot, the powers that be determine Shepherd is far too effective at mindless killing, so they banish him to darkness for eternity.  Go Marines.

“Mornin’, Mr. Freeman.”

It’s Barney Calhoun, the security guard!  From the third chapter of the first Half-Life, Barney Calhoun managed to escape the Black Mesa facility in spite of the countless casualties of other security guards who appeared completely identical to himself.  Also responsible for massive “acts of self-defense” against United States Marines.

Also, to clear up a point of debate, in Half-Life, Gordon Freeman gets jumped by marines half-way through the story.  In the end of the Blue Shift chapter, Barney escapes with some scientists near the area where Gordon was ambushed.  One of the scientists (Simmons, I believe) was using a crowbar which happened to be in the area to pry open the gate.  In Half-Life 2, Barney gives a crowbar to Gordon and says he left it behind.  This isn’t a plot breaker because it’s incredibly possible that one of the security guards from the first game, who all looked identical, was in fact our Barney Calhoun.  They did cross paths from time to time, so it’s conceivable that Calhoun might have observed Gordon using the crowbar and, having kept it at the end of Blue Shift, decided to give it to Gordon as a practical weapon, not actually knowing that it very well could have been the crowbar Gordon lost.  If I’ve lost you, you’re probably not interested in downloading this skin regardless.  All else, now you know.

Combine Elite from Half-Life 2.  These guys are bastards.

“I’ll give you that.  Killing off most of our people did wonders for solving our social problems.”

The Combine Soldiers, Half-Life 2 cannon fodder and proud stars of the Civil Protection comedy series.


“Blah blah blah, Mr. Freeman.”

From Half-Life, this is the G Man, or the GMan, or the Gman, or the G-Man.. truth be told, they never tell you who he is in the games.  In the source package, he is gman.mdl, and that’s all anyone really knows.  He’s a huge butthole and really likes to screw with people.

It’s the Half-Life Mark V(5) HEV suit (Hazardous EnVironment..?).  I’ve always liked the model 4 better, but the newer model makes up in improvements what it lacks in classy orange arm and chest plating coverage.

I’ve never been able to shake one nagging question.  The suits have helmets.  Are you too good for your helmet, Gordon?  Truth be told, I don’t think he needs it.  If you’ve played the games, you know the man is an unstoppable force, but then you would be too if you could quick-load your way back out of death.

John Freeman, saver of humens!

I loved wife like sun raise.  Dark man, you will suffar!

Gordon Freeman in the hazard suit.  Survivor of the Black Mesa incident, committing countless acts of armed full-metal self defense in the name of all Yale quantum physics doctoral graduates.  If you don’t recognize this suit, you really have never played a Half-Life game.

"This was a triumph.  I’m making a note here: Huge Success!"

I shouldn’t have been asked this, but this is Chell from Portal.  Some of you young people are guilty of insufficient internet use.

Somebody cut the cake.